Spoof Tournament
by jomama9998
Summary: Who will win? This tourney is a spoof on yuri : .
1. Introduction

Introduction**- **

Edit: Whoops lol :)... i forgot my disclaimer. -- **I don own this stuff... its not mine... bla bla bla (dont sue me!)**

Okay… I wanted to try and make a new genre of randomness. Its gonna be like a mega-yuri-parody . It's been a while since I've read some of these stories so please excuse any personality traits I mix up. Its going to be a tournament set up...(you'll figure it out)! This is my first fanfic so enjoy. I was gonna do like 20 people, but I didn't feel like searching for more people so…

Im a big procrastinator so try not to badger me about finishing any time soon lolz

Hinata- Naruto

Sakura- Naruto

Riku- FF10

Pikachu- Pokemon  hahah…

Soi Fon- Bleach

Shion- Higurashi no naku koro ni(when they cry)

Motoko- Love Hina

Naru- Love Hina

Ill start my bracket like this Edit: AACK!... my bracket died :(... round 1 is soi fon x motoko, pikachi x hinata, Shion x Rikku, and naru x sakura. Round 2 will be (soi fon or motoko) x (pikachu or hinata) and (shion or rikku) x (naru or sakura). And the finals is the last two people left

-Soi Fon

-

-Motoko

-

-Pikachu

-

-Hinata

-

-Shion

-

-Rikku

-

-Naru

-

-Sakura


	2. Chapter One Soi Fon X Motoko

Motoko quickly dressed, grabbed her katana, and began a swift walk to her new secret training spot. She paced quickly out of the town and entered the forest in which her destination resided. Suddenly, there was a bright flash. All the trees seemed to get up and move to a new position. After the forest settled, she spotted a light far off in the distance. Upon reaching the forest edge, she spotted a large white citadel, walled in with a great white wall. Leaves rustled behind her and she quickly turned about. Unsheathing her sword, she turned around and cautiously approached the noise.

Leaves rustled as black blurs quickly cavorted around the dense trees. Suddenly, a figure leaped out of the tree towards Motoko. She quickly analyzed the black outfit as a ninja garb and took a defensive stance. With a quick slash, she knocked him to the ground and disarmed him of his sword. Grabbing him by the throat, she said, "Who sent you?" The ninja whistled and out of the bushes came four more. They all charged at Motoko from different directions. She took the one she already had by the throat and threw him into another. Next, she backed towards a tree to prevent a sneak attack and took a defensive stance against the remaining three. Within a few minutes, she defeated the attackers.

"Sting all enemies to death, Suzumebachi." A thin woman in a white kimono stepped out with a katana sheath horizontal on her back and an odd stinger on her hand. "Impressive that you could even stand up to a squad of my men", she said, "but you can never hope to defeat me!" She charged at Motoko and Motoko leaped into the trees, slashing at a branch making a cover with the leaves. The woman instantly appeared in front of Motoko. Astonished, Motoko lost her balance and fell, grabbing onto a lower branch. The girl jumped onto Motoko's branch and Motoko grabbed her kimono and let go. Both girls fell to the ground but the attacker lost her kimono and stinger.

Motoko landed on the stinger and a large butterfly appeared on her chest where the stinger impaled her. Her hand was on the girls breast. They started making out wildly, rolling around in the forest. The girl undressed Motoko. Motoko got on top of the girl and began to lick her chest. The girl, being tickled, rolled over forcing Motoko onto the stinger still lying on the ground. Motoko began to cough blood. "You will die", explained the girl, "The poison takes its effect upon the second hit". Motoko lied against a tree choking, and then passed away. As the girl slipped her kimono back on, a large man came running into the forest. "Captain Soi Fon! You are urgently needed. It seems Ryoka have broken into the seiretei. What are you doing here anyway?" "All right, I am on my way Marechiyo", replied Soi Fon and she flash stepped away from the forest.


	3. Chapter Two Pikachu X Hinata

Pikachu was on fire. His thunder bolt crushed seaking in one hit and he was fighting Persian in the Johto League. Pikachu leapt into the air with agility and went right into an iron tail spin, knocking Persian down for the final time. The tournament was over and ash was the victor. Officer Jenny walked out and presented ash with a diamond studded pokeball. "What about it pikachu? Wanna try it out?" Pikachu nodded and ash opened the pokeball, which sucked pikachu inside. "AAAAAASH," a person from the crowd shouted, "I want a match toooo!!" "Heh… I'm always ready for a challenge," ash retorted.

Ash and the boy went to a nearby river, where they decided to have a two pokemon water battle. The river had many trees and stones that a nimble land pokemon could use to battle with, so ash chose pikachu. "Pokeball go!" Ash threw pikachu's pokeball but it began to spark wildly. The ball did not open when it hit the water and it commenced to flow downstream. Ash ran after pikachu but the swift current carried him faster then ash could navigate through the trees and brush. Within minutes, pikachu was long gone.

Hinata grabbed her jacket and swiftly left the house, passing by a clock stating one A.M. She traversed into the woods where she found a small stream, perfect for practicing byakugon, causing the water to follow her movements. At the end of her graceful movement, a small red and white ball ran into her foot and stopped. Out of curiosity, she touched it, causing it to open. Pikachu instantly shot out of the ball and confusingly stared at Hinata.

"Um… hello?" Hinata stammered due to her lack of knowledge about this particular beast. With her byakugon still up, she proceeded toward the creature and touched it. Pikachu fired a bolt of lightning at her, which she changed the direction of using byakugon as a deflection. Hinata picked a berry off of a tree and laid it onto the ground. Pikachu cautiously approached the berry and ate it. Hinata released her byakugon and stared intimately at pikachu while he ate. She stared intimately at pikachu as he stared back at her questioningly. Pikachu walked toward Hinata and began to sniff her. Hinata giggled from the tickle.

Pikachu jumped onto her lap and Hinata embraced pikachu tightly. Pikachu pushed her onto the ground and began removing her clothes with his mouth. He ran his tail up and down Hinata's chest and let off a couple tiny sparks as a massage. Proceeding down from the chest, he placed his tail into Hinata's vagina. He unleashed a small electric shock, making Hinata jump. She grabbed pikachu and began rolling around the woods, making out with him wildly. She pressed him against her breast and jumped into a deep part of the stream. The shock to Pikachu caused him to send off a large thunder bolt attack. Hinata fell fully into the water, releasing pikachu. She began to flow downstream back towards her own village.

Pikachu, however, got trapped by the current and began floating downstream. Swifter and swifter he went until he could hear the sound of a roaring waterfall. He was too weighed down from the water to use agility or quick attack to escape the water so he attempted to dog paddle towards the edge. A rock about 10 feet before the waterfall was the only thing that was solid in the water. Pikachu made out for the rock, barely grabbing it. He attempted to pull himself onto the rock, but he was too heavy. A crash of water swept over the rock and Pikachu let go. He began falling down the waterfall. Pikachu shut his eyes and pointed nose down until a swift flash passed him. A boy in an orange outfit leapt across the water to Pikachu's rescue, where they both landed on a tree branch. "Daaam dudez!... Ur so luckee too get it on wit Hinaata!" The boy continued on talking about how awesome Hinata was. Pikachu snapped and hit Naruto with a thunderbolt, causing him to fall to his doom. Then he proceeded to head back upstream to where he could hopefully find his master.


	4. Chapter Three Shion X Rikku

Excited about their new sphere, Yuna, Rikku and Paine began the ride home from Gagazet. While traversing the Great Plains, a bright light flashed on the ground. A large black pillar shot up into the sky and collided with the ship. The sky darkened with each passing second. Rikuu grabbed onto a rail and watched in horror as everyone else on the bridge was engulfed into the fiery vortex. A hole ripped into the wall and Rikku grabbed onto a tree, clinging with all her might. Her momentum was so great, she fell from the tree and skidded along the ground. Soon after, the ship crashed into the forest and let out a massive explosion, obliterating the ship. Rikku noticed a nearby path and approached it.

On the path rested a sign that said "Hinamizawa" with an arrow pointing towards the village. Rikku examined the forest and saw a small cloud of green gas hovering over what seemed to be tiny buildings. She approached the city. Upon arrival, she noticed that the city was completely empty. It was still in good condition however, so she assumed it wasn't abandoned. Building after building she searched but there was no luck. She came upon what seemed to be a school. Entering the building, Rikku opened the first classroom door. As soon as the door opened, a wave of foul odors engulfed her. Inside the room awaited a pile of citizens lying motionless, not even breathing. Blood lined the walls and the floor. Freaked out, Rikku ran for the door and fled the building. Outside, she saw a teenage girl with green hair limping towards her, clutching her shoulder. Rikku slowed down and began to speak to the girl from a distance.

"What happened here?" she asked.

"My people… they're… dead…" The girl stammered.

"I'm Rikku. What's your name?"

"Sonozaki… Shion" the girl answered in a querulous voice.

Rikku approached Shion. She rested her head upon Shion's shoulder and began to cry. Shion pushed Rikku's head downward, towards her breast. Rikku did not resist, but rather lowered herself into a sitting position. Shion and Rikku began to feel each other up, removing each others clothes. Shion placed Rikku against a wall and began to lick her stomach, working her way upward. Rikku giggled from the tickle and began to feel around Shion. She placed her pointer finger into Shion's vagina and twirled it around.

*GGGGGZT!!* Rikku squealed in pain! She pulled her finger out to see that the skin and blood was completely removed. Only her bone remained.

"AHAHAHAH!!" Shion burst into laughter as she approached Rikku. Rikku grabbed her daggers out of her clothes and held them to Shion. She released a mighty swing but Shion evaded to the side. Shion grabbed Rikku by the neck and bit into her breast. Rikku slashed at Shion's arm, dismembering it. She ran for her life deeper into the village. Rikku turned a corner and went into the second building. She went behind a counter and hid. The door slammed open and Rikku heard footsteps. *Thump…… Thump….. Thump…. Thump… Thump.. Thump. Thump, Thump!*

Right as the noise got near the end of the counter, it stopped. Rikuu placed her bleeding hand onto her breast and placed her other hand on top to prevent further bleeding. She heard a noise across the room and took a peek around the counter. A mere rock rested upon the floor. Rikku looked around and Shion stood atop the counter. "AHAHAH!! YOU ARE LURED OUT SO VERY EASILY!!" Shion jumped off of the counter and struck Rikku with a tazer. Rikku slouched over and closed her eyes.

Rikku woke up. Still partially blinded, she tried moving her arm. It wouldn't budge. She was completely pinned down. While she recovered, she saw shackles holding her in place upon a wooden table. "I have mapped out 30 joints on your body starting with your fingers and toes and ending with your abdomen and neck. I will hammer a stake into each joint". Rikku was having trouble breathing, so she saved her breath. Shion picked up a metal stake, held it to Rikku's finger, and swung…


	5. Chapter Four Sakura X Naru

**If you read on and you puke or faint or get scarred for life, don't leave me liable ********… lolz… it is kinda more graphically disgusting than the other chapters… I was feeling really random lol**

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Sakura, returning home from village in the sand, entered the Hokage building. An announcement shook the halls.

"We have the results of yesterdays pregnancy tests." Everyone stopped and began to listen closely.

"Hinata Hyuuga positive. The baby will be extracted from the corpse at three.

Rock Lee negative…

Ino Yamanaka negative…"

Sakura ignored the message and walked into Tsunade's office. When the door opened, a large black swirl rose from the floor and engulfed Sakura. Sakura struggled and struggled but she could not move her arms to dispel the attack. After about a minute, the swirl dissipated. Sakura found herself trapped in a room completely naked with both of her feet chained to a large metal pipe. Across the room, another girl also in shackles sat on the floor, staring Sakura. "Where are we?" the girl cried out.

"How the hell should I know?!" Sakura rudely retorted. "I'm trapped here same as you."

"It doesn't hurt to ask", the girl shyly replied. "My name is Naru Narusegawa. Who are you?"

"Sakura Haruno. I am a ninja from the village hidden in the leaves."

"Never heard of it", Naru replied, "I am from Tokyo province."

As Naru finished her sentence, a voice echoed throughout the room.

"I want to play a game"

"Who are you!" shouted Sakura. There was no reply.

"For far too long, you both have evaded your inevitable sexual urges growing within yourselves." The voice explained. "But that is about to change tonight. Both of your chains will be extended to a length where you will be able to reach each other comfortably. Every time one of you ejects fluids other than saliva, your chain will extend and your opponents will recede. Once your opponent is dead, your chains will be released. Both of your chains will send an electric current throughout your body which will kill you within the hour if neither of you cooperate. The clock is ticking."

At the end of the message, both of their chains extended.

Naru ran forward and crashed into Sakura. She squished her breasts together and compacted them onto Sakura's chest. Sakura was too soft and her breast began to bleed and Naru was yanked back as her chain shrunk. This time, Sakura made her move. She jumped onto Naru and began to rapidly whack her abdomen and groin onto Naru's side. Naru squeezed her breasts onto Sakura's face and they both ejaculated, Naru spitting breast milk as Sakura spewed cum onto the floor. The chains rattled. The shock from the bracelets began to grow. The constant flow of electricity caused Sakura to vomit all over Naru. Naru's chains pulled her onto the wall, suspended upside-down. Sakura climbed onto Naru and began rubbing herself against her, despite the cum and vomit. Naru began to shit on the floor.

The voice boomed, "Shit is not a fluid!" and the chains remained in place. Sakura unleashed her inner Sakura. With one final rub, she ejaculated into Naru's mouth. Naru's chains began pulling apart. She screamed in pain as her legs were pulled into a split, and still pulled farther. One of her legs began to rip from her torso. Sakura watched in horror as the muscle separated, following by the tendon snapping. Finally, her entire leg fell to the ground. Sakura recovered some chakra and began making hand signals. She put Naru into a genjutsu that prevented her nervous system from sending messages to the brain. Suddenly, Sakura's chains quickly yanked her back onto the opposing wall. She screamed as they pulled her upside-down, much like Naru. After a few seconds, she heard a satisfying *click* and her chains released her.

"Thank you for the show", the voice commented.

Enraged, Sakura shouted, "Go to hell you fucking pervert!!" A door opened in the room. Covered in blood, cum, vomit and milk, Sakura exited the door. She found herself in the center of the leaf village. Embarrassed from her birthday suit, she began crying and running quickly towards her home. She ran right past Sasuke.

"What the hell Sakura??" he said completely shocked. Sakura ignored him and ran into her house. Her adventure was over for the night.


	6. Chapter Five Soi Fon X Pikachu

A man in a black kimono ran into Soi Fon's room. "Soi Fon taicho! You're needed to stop a hollow invasion!"

"What hollow is so powerful that you need my direct assistance?" Soi Fon questioned.

The man immediately interrupted, "Taicho, this hollow flash steps around, striking its opponents with lightning. We believe it to be a form of an arrancar."

"Very well… I'll take care of your bug." Soi Fon walked away.

"Wait! In order to reach this hollow, you need to open a portal into his dimension. Please allow me to accompany you", the man insisted.

"Just don't get in my way." Soi Fon and the man approached a large gate. The man pulled out a strange rectangular prism and put a small yellow box on the back. He flicked a switch on the side. "Ding" The box screen showed the words "game boy" with a small subtitle "color". The machine proceeded onto a new screen.

"What is that object?" Soi Fon questioned. "Our men confiscated it off of a hollow a while back. Kurotsuchi taicho sent us to test it out."

He threw the item into the doorway and there was a large explosion of blue. The entire inside of the door changed colors, and blurred.

"The hollow awaits in that realm taicho."

The man left and Soi Fon entered the portal. In front of Soi Fon was nothing. She was sitting in a completely empty void. Suddenly, text appeared. "Loading… dot… dot… dot" the words disappeared and reappeared in the same pattern. She appeared in the air above a small town. Everything was blurry. It seemed as if everything was made of giant molecules. She landed in the city and began to observe the buildings. One had the word "poke" and another had "mart". A small yellow mouse animal with pointy ears approached. Soi Fon pulled out her zanpakto and held it to the creature. "Sting my enemies to death, Suzemubachi", her zanpakto transformed into a stinger which lay on her finger. She charged at the rodent.

"Pikachuuuuu!" the mouse shouted and bolts of thunder crashed down on top of Soi Fon. She jumped high into the air, evading the lightning attack. A small bolt of lightning managed to get attracted to Soi Fon's stinger. She threw her stinger to the ground. Pikachu ran over and smashed the stinger with his iron tail, shattering it. Soi Fon landed again. Pikachu charged up electricity around itself and tackled Soi Fon, knocking her over. The electricity caused her muscles to lock, leaving her motionless on the ground. Pikachu climbed on top of her and began removing her kimono. Soi Fon grunted in fear as her kimono was dragged away. Pikachu continued pulling at her until she was completely naked. Soi Fon began to get some muscle control in her jaw.

"Rodent Bitch", she muttered. Pikachu jolted her again with electricity and she locked up again. She threw up from the shock and began to choke on it. Pikachu pushed her head to the side so that the vomit spewed onto the ground. He stood on top of her and began caressing her chest with his tail. He got down to her groin. Uh Oh!... Pikachu's tail was eight pixels wide and her vagina was only seven. Pikachu put it into her mouth instead and put his ear into her vagina.

*Bing Bing* a short man dressed in red was rapidly jumping toward the couple.

"Itsa mea… MARIO!!" fire breathed from the demons mouth and he jumped high into the air. Pikachu quick attacked to evade the attack but Mario landed atop of Soi Fon, crushing her chest in. Blood squirted from Soi Fons mouth as she lay motionless on the ground choking. Everything went black and the words "game over" appeared in the air along with "fatality". In the pitch darkness, only a few thunderbolts could be seen flying through the air.


	7. Chapter Six Shion X Sakura

"Sakura… I want to play a game," a voice echoed. Sakura found herself in a boiler room. A sheep ran across the pathway as she cautiously roamed the room. She was grabbed by a doll with a white face from behind. The demon had red circles on his cheeks and just laughed as he clenched her tighter. He put her feet in chains as she screamed, wildly flailing around.

*clonk* Sakura hit her head off the hard floor.

"It was just… a dream…" Sakura was relieved. She looked around the room and got frightened. It was not her room. She scrambled to her feet and opened the door.

"Raaaaaaahh!!" A large green blob flew toward Sakura. She ducked and the blob went into the room she was sleeping in. Sakura slammed the door shut and held it. The room went silent… Sakura put her ear to the door. A fist crashed through the door and grabbed Sakura's shirt. The fiend ripped it off and pulled it into the room with her. Sakura backed away from the door. The entire door crumbled as the fiend crashed through it. It was a teenage girl with green hair. Sakura ran outside of the room. She was in a strange town.

"Who are you?" Sakura yelled. A voice echoed throughout the town.

"Shion… Sonozaki." Sakura looked around, not knowing where the voice came from. Footprints began forming in the ground under the air.

"Hyaaaaah!!" Shion leaped out of the shadows just as Sakura dive rolled to evade the attack. Shion's arm turned into a tentacle that wrapped around Sakura. Sakura pushed the tentacle away but it grabbed her by the pants. Sakura stripped out of her pants and ran further into the town, nearly naked. Shion's arm reformed and she disappeared again, into the shadows. Sakura ran into a nearby house and locked the door behind her. This did not stop the assailant for a second. Shion crashed right through the door. Sakura punched Shion in the face with all of her might. Shion's neck broke and her head fell back behind her shoulder blades. She did not stop. Shion tackled Sakura and they both fell to the ground. Her head rolled back onto her neck and they reconnected. Shion grabbed Sakura and pinned her onto the wall.

Her tongue extended from her mouth and wrapped around Sakura. Shion's acidic saliva began dissolving Sakura's skin wherever the tongue touched. Sakura screeched in pain as her abdomen was dissolved. Inner Sakura possessed Sakura. She grabbed Shion's tongue, ignoring the acid, and ripped it out of her mouth. While Shion was staggering from the pain, Sakura placed her hands on her ears. Sakura crushed the top of her head and Shion's body fell limp. Inner Sakura saw the corpse and couldn't resist. She climbed atop of Shion and began to live her fantasies. She placed one of Shion's hands on her chest and another on her back then flipped the legs into the air. She leaped as high as she could and began to have mid-air intercourse with Shion, basting her body with her tongue. Sakura got to the mouth and gave Shion one final kiss. Their saliva mixed and Sakura's mouth began to bleed. As blood dripped into Shion's mouth, she began to reanimate.

"HAHAHAHAH!!" Shion's head reformed and she grabbed Sakura. She pulled on Sakura by the waist and head as she held her in the air. Sakura's dissolved chest could not hold together. She watched in horror as her tissue broke apart and she could see her organs. Her intestines fell loose and began to hang near the ground. Shion placed the legs on her shoulder and took a stake out of her pocket. With one hand, she drove the stake through the intestines. This time she placed the top half on the ground, Sakura still squirming through the dirt. She took the bottom half and threw it into the forest.

"Have fun ninja girl… HAHAHAHAH!" Shion faded away leaving Sakura alone in the strange village, staked into the ground by her intestines. It began to rain.


End file.
